Yeserday morning while going through my books, I suddenly realised that one of my books was missing. I had not seen it for quite a while and so the search began. I searched for it everywhere I could and still could not trace it.
It was upsetting for me as I could not understand where the book had gone. My mind was totally into it. I turned the whole house upside down but still NO book. Things happening around me did not matter ..only the book mattered.
After the second round of search, I sat down exhausted when the telephone rang. It was my friend who wanted to talk, though I tried to be attentive I found my thoughts going back to the book again and again. It was very distracting. I confessed to my friend that I was so preoccupied with the book that I am not able to think straight. She was very understanding let me continue with my search.
While searching for it the third time I got it. It was such a relief. When I sat down with the book in my hand, I started reflecting on what had happened.
-What would have happened if I had not found the book?
-How have I changed or how has my life changed now that I have the book in my hand, -which I am not even going to read immediately
-I was not this perturbed when my gas cylinder got empty without refill being there in the middle of my making lunch.
The answers disturbed me. Even after being aware of my feelings I had done nothing about it. I could not be in the moment. What was it that made me so disturbed.
So much of time I spent on something which really did not matter in the end :-(
The voice inside my head said,' Subha... lots of work to do and a long way to go.......'
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