Motivation..

Most of us as parents feel that we need to motivate our children. The other day a child came to me and spoke about her trip where she had gone for a trek with her mother and how she enjoyed herself. While talking she mentioned that her parents were kind off super humans who could do anything. I was interested when she said that and wanted to know more. She gave an example of how her father could swim real fast and whenever they were in the pool he would have a race with her and she would lose so she felt she was not good at swimming as she could not keep up with him.
Later, when i spoke to her mother I could understand a little more of what was happening. Both the parents are highly enthusiastic about what they do and to motivate their children tell them about their achievements and goals.
The only thing which was missing was the process of reaching the goal..the frustations, failures, the anxieties are not shared with the children.
What does this lead to? It leads to the child thinking that reaching the goal is the thing and the process to reach it gets lost and if they find the goal overwhelming they just give up.
Instead of the children getting motivated the children actually feel demotivated to try out things fearing failure and not being able to be able to reach the expectations of the parent though the parent's intention is to encourage.
The way i look at it the child needs to enjoy the journey towards the goal whether he actually attains it or not is totally a different thing. The motivation needs to be to enjoy the process of reaching the goal not the goal itself.

'who am I'

'Who am I?' this is a question we keep asking ourselves at times.Am i a mother, a daughter, a wife, a daughter-in-law and the list is endless. Do we need to identify with one of these roles at some point or the other in our lives. The other day one of my friends was very restless as she had left her children with her husband and she could not enjoy where she was as her mind was at home and she was kind off feeling guilty + a feeling that they would find it difficult without her. And i could not help but tell her that she existed independent of the people around her. She replied saying she knew but she could not help feeling that way. Is this because our self worth depends on others, a validation from people around us, a feeling that we are needed? Is it difficult to be just be..