The other day I was watching a cricket match in which SA were trying to save the match with one wicket left and you could hear the commentators telling how great it would be if they could pull it off as there was still twenty minutes to go. The Indian bowler managed to get the batsmen out and there was a jump of joy but what followed it was what caught my eye:Where the commentators were praising the batsmen for his courage to stand up there it changed to what a win for India in matter of seconds; India is still No.1 was displayed on all the news channels; The bowler not only jumped with joy but the bowler showed his joy by making a face and expressed himself in an aggressive way.
It made me think was such aggressive expression necessary? What is this No.1 obsession? Why do we need to have the concept of winning and losing? These thoughts have been really troubling me a lot.
The other day varsha made up a game and when I was not able to do the needful she said ,’’ you are a loser’’ I was surprised as this vocabulary is not used by us at home then where is she getting this from.
I saw a reality show where talented singers are pitted against each other and there was a scene where one of them is shouting, crying and cursing others. We keep telling our children to take failures in their stride but we see adults expressing themselves in a violent manner but when the children cry if they are not happy we brand them as being sensitive and not being able to take things in a positive way etc. There are two absolutely contradictory situations. Why do people need to compete with each other to prove who is the best among them? Is it because we have got so used to this concept that we can find thrill and enjoyment when people are fighting with one another to decide who is No.1.
If we consider each individual an entity on his own then why are we doing this to ourselves comparing, criticizing instead of acknowledging and giving space to each other. Is it idealism to think in this way. I don’t know. When we compete our intention is to be one up on the other person so does this give rise to aggressive expression in us.
When I look around me I think most of the competition we see around us is artificially created. The very common contention is that competition is inherent in human beings which I am not able to agree with. Competition comes into play when I create it.
If in a classroom while dealing with five year olds I give a star to one child for answering a question I am telling the rest of the class that you don’t know what he knows and I create competition instead of asking the child to share where he got the information from so that others can also benefit we single out the child without realizing what effect it has on others. While trying to motivate one child we are demotivating the rest of the children.
I am unable to understand the logic of competitions in every walk of our lives. It starts from a baby entering a contest and getting prizes for silky hair and chubby cheeks. It hurts me when people say that a child needs to compete from a young age so it helps him to cope with the societal pressures later on..i am really not sure if it does that i think it actually demotivates a child and the child may stop trying after losing a few times.
I think we need to really introspect as a community as a society as to what we are doing and what is our objective. Why is cooperation and just doing things for the joy of doing it not there? Why should there be a winner and a loser all the time? Is the world not big enough for people to have a space of their own and be happy in that space?
Lots of confused thoughts and will keep writing more….
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