Time

We are always telling ourselves and others that we wish we had more time. I want to do this or that but I just don't have time. Do we really not have time or is it that we do not think certain things are important enough to make time for.

We had gone to Lal Bagh and got really excited seeing the vegetables and flowers. The children wanted to buy seeds. My first reaction was who is going to take care..there is no place in the balcony.. we do not have the time etc etc..
But the children were adamant and we ended up buying seeds for a variety of vegetables, pots.

As soon as we came home we started work on planting the seeds and it was real fun. It has been two weeks up and I love watering the plants and watching them come out of the seeds is a wonderful feeling. The children are also enjoying the process of watching them grow. We are now looking forward to have tomatoes, beans.
And the best part is I have found time out to do this.
It made me realise that if you want to really do something you do find time for it. There is enough time to do everything..everything..

Awareness

Yesterday, I told all of you about varun's dilemma whether to take his beyblade tip to school or not for exchanging it with his friend. I did not give him any answer but had just asked him what the rule was at school and left it.

In the evening while talking varun tells me Venkatesh gave me the tip. I asked him but you had to give him yours. He just smiled and said,' Yes, I took it . Teacher did not know.. sorry.'

My thoughts at that moment:

1. He knew what the rule is but he decided to do what he wanted.

2. This might become a habit with him

3. I allowed him freedom and is he misusing it?

The feelings which came out of these thoughts:

Anxious, Concerned, fear

Are these feelings founded on facts or beliefs?

After checking I realised that the thoughts were all beliefs. I also realised that the fact was that he had openly told me about it (he had been honest about it ..if he had kept quiet I would not have even known about it)

Now what were the options I had: I could ignore/ I could tell him I did not like what he did/ I could make him aware of his choice/I could give a piece of my mind etc

My response: 'You decided to take the tip though you were aware that the teachers would not like it''

His response: 'yes' and the conversation ended there.

I have without being judgemental about it and pushing my thoughts on to him communicated to him that it was his decision and he is responsible for his actions. I am not sure whether this is ok or not but this process helped me be more aware of myself :-)

Pune Trip(dec2010)

Tried something New and Different

Had real fun and enjoyed every moment of it.

Trip to Sittilingi

Mountains in the backdrop with the r them, lush green fields around, the sound of a stream flowing, cute little huts ... this is the village of sittilingi where we spent a quiet diwali. It was a wonderful experience without the sounds and smell of crackers.
My brother and his wife who stay at Thulir(education resource centre for children and youngsters) invited us for diwali to this wonderful place.
We started around 7am and reached thulir aound 12pm. It was a holiday so the children did not come. We lazed around, children went for walk aound the place and they thoroughly enjoyed themselves. We went to the land which my brother has bought out there. Children and Partha enjoyed plucking mangoes(unripe). We even saw a house which has not been occupied for ages now housing snakes and ghosts(according to the villagers)
The next day we met the children and then attended the class which my brother took for them. We did a few origami stuff ..it was fun. Later varun observed water testing.
Partha and children went for a walk in the evening to the stream nearby and the children thoroughly enjoyed themselves.
The next day morning after breakfast was time to leave the place. We bought a few key chains and soap which the girls make out there for sale.it was raining and the journey back was scary. The visibility was bad but we managed to make it back safely.
The trip was a memorable one. A big thanks to Sanjeev and Anita for making it possible.

Stage

All round you could see excited eager faces. It was annual day of our campus and we were having a cultural event. Children dressed up in different costumes, parents running around doing the last minute make up for them.. the whole place was colourful and lively. In the midst of all this there were the tiny tots just two or two and a half also dressed up in complicated costume and there was a clear discomfort on their faces. Others calling them cute and pulling their cheeks, hugging and holding them at their will. After all this when the time came for the children to be on stage most of them stuck to their mothers and refused to get down. One or two children in the end due to the persistence of the parent stood on the stage but the others refused and ended up being carried by the mother for the whole programme.

Just thinking what is it that makes a parent to do this. Is it the eagerness to give their child exposure or is it just they are just getting to satisfy their whims and fancies because the child does not have a say. What would the child be thinking in those uncomfortable clothes, how would he/she be feeling, what is he thinking about the elders around him who do not treat him as an individual?

Why is it so difficult for parents to allow the child to be just be? Why are we so eager to show off our children in front of others treating them like puppets? Why do parents and adults feel that a child has to prove himself/herself in front of others all the time. Is it our insecurity with ourselves?

When a child is constantly showcased in front of others ..and the child is constantly fed with appreciation or praise would he be doing things only to get that praise or would he still enjoy what he is doing?

It is about time we as parents sit back and think about our actions and the thought process behind it and allow space to our children to grow at their own pace.

Star

A few days back:
Varsha: Mummy I made a mistake in maths. But we learn from making mistakes na? There were some children who got star in English. I did not get any star. Mummy, I was still happy because I know it does not matter. You love me anyway.

I knew she was feeling not so good about it and she was trying to work on it. Hopefully by allowing her to express her feelings and acknowledging it will help her to internalise it too one day.
They have a very funny system at school they give stars for keeping quiet and then when they meet the parents they say she is a very quiet girl and you need to encourage her to talk :-)