Praise..

When we tell a child  “You are a good boy, eat your food’. The child responds by saying “No... I am a bad boy”. Why the denial of praise? In fact, we observe that adults are also not able to accept praise when given. We either shy away from it or feel uncomfortable about accepting a praise. We are working from a belief that we need encouragement and praise to feel good about ourselves and about our work. 

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Holidays.. exploring

Get into the flow...

  'Say YES to your UNIVERSE' Something I am working on.
Whatever happens in your life just say yes instead of No.
Universe is the flow in our lives and the lives of others over which we have little or no control.
Saying yes means getting up and acting on your belief that you can create meaning and purpose in whatever life hands you.
Let go and let the river of life carry you to new adventures by the way you experience your life. Figure out how to get into the flow rather than what you can get from the flow.
Instead of resisting with a 'No' , 'why me' say 'YES' 'Wow ..its me' and see what happens.

Experience

Varsha wanted strawberry cornflakes but we had only Mango and she was upset. She said,' I want only strawberry cornflakes' 
I replied,' We have only mango today and we have chappati and we have bread. What would you like to have'.
She said,' I hate mango..I hate you.. I will not eat.' I did not reply and kept mum (silence).
After two minutes she put cornflakes for herself.. put badam in it.. put raisins.. cut banana and added to it (she remarked,' mummy, I cut the banana myself') and then she added sprouts :-) to it. In all this going on, none of us commented anything. She asked her brother to pour milk. One spoon in and she commented,' I don't like sprouts and banana with the cornflakes', she still continued to have it. Then she said,' I am too full.. I can't eat the whole thing.'
I asked

,' What do you think you will do differently next time?'
She replied,' I will take little cornflakes..not add sprouts and banana and once I am done I will take more if I want'
How important is to experience?
What would be an experience without any reflection?
How can I reflect without any judgements or evaluation?
What kind of questions can I ask to reflect?

Family time

When we start something new..it is fun, exciting but after sometime it becomes more of a ritual. At home, we started this family time. Family time was sitting together at the end of the day, talking, making limericks and just sharing. It was fun and I used to look forward to that time. After sometime, it became something like brushing your teeth everyday.. a ritual. There were times when I would want to watch my tv prog or do something else and varsha would force and say we need to have family time.. I did not want to do it and I would relent thinking that we should be doing this. I would even force Partha to do it. Now, thinking happening : What would happen if we took a break from family time? What would happen if we do not have family time for sometime? What would happen if we can just be? 
Isn't every moment we communicate with each other equally important?
Check out, is there something we are doing which we thought was fun and now has become more of a ritual. Are we uncomfortable when we don't do it? If we are then what is the belief we are stuck to.
If it is a belief then we can change it :-) and see what happens.

Choice..

Every day, I become aware of certain beliefs I carry about myself, aware of the beliefs I, form about others. I have the choice of changing the beliefs, so that I can move forward. At times, I make the choice of working on those beliefs, at times I get agitated that I have a choice and I wish that I didn't have the choice :-)

Police station...

Varsha visited the police station with her class. She was super excited with the event the day before. When I went to pick her up yesterday from school..she seemed tired and was not very enthusiastic about sharing her experiences. I let it go and slowly she shared how she had seen thieves :-) at the station. They had been told that one of them was there because he had stolen a gold chain. Not sure, why the children were shown people in lock up and told about what they had done?? 
I told her that she seemed a little uncomfortable talking about the visit and she promptly said,'yes'. I just acknowledged her feelings and let her know that she could talk to me about it when she was ready. She also mentioned that she did not want to talk about it.
In the night before sleeping she said,' Why do people murder?' I said,' you are thinking why people hurt each other?'.. she replied, 'yes... can someone come in and murder us?'
I said,' You are worried that someone will hurt us' and she nodded.
I also told her that people hurt other people when they do not know how to express their needs otherwise. I also assured her that all the doors were locked. She seemed satisfied ...she just hugged me and told me to be with her the whole night.. I promised her I would and I was.
She was her cheerful self in the morning.